


i made a crown of thorns to die in (so please, kill me now)

by orphan_account



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: 73rd Edition of The Hunger Games, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Heavy Angst, Heavy Violence, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 14:18:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “When the time comes, you'll have to kill me. Can you do that?”“I cannot.”“Please. If I'm going to die here, I want you to be the death of me.”“I couldn't even if I wanted to.”





	i made a crown of thorns to die in (so please, kill me now)

_This is not how love is supposed to go._

Love isn’t supposed to happen in the arena. Love isn’t supposed to bloom during the games, under rocks and thorns and dirt and blood. Love isn’t supposed to blossom before every single pair of eyes in Panem. _Love isn’t supposed to happen at all._

Love isn’t supposed to happen under any circumstances, **_except that it does._**

Love does happen in the arena. Love blooms during the game, under rocks and thorns and dirt and blood. Love blossoms before every single pair of eyes in Panem. Love happens under every impossible circumstance ever, and the Capitol loves it.

Kevin Moon, the male tribute from District 5, falls in love with the tribute from District 2, Lee Juyeon, in front of the cameras, the Capitol and every single district in Panem. The nation watches their every move, every single interaction; during the tribute parade, during the interviews, the training sessions, the game itself. Eyes are on them at all times, _on the starcrossed lovers_ , on the two boys that fell in love the month prior to the start of the games. The circumstances, however, make things a little too hard to believe; it’s hard to believe any type of genuine love would ever bloom and grow when they’re this exposed to the crowd, desperate for attention and for mercy. 

It’s a game of survival. There can only be one winner, 23 boys and girls will be going home to their families and loved ones in coffins, and Kevin is willing to do anything and everything to go back home alive. So when the female tribute from District 5 turns her back on Kevin shortly after the tribute parade, it makes the back of his mind tingle in alert. It might sound cruel, but Kevin doesn't care if she dies in the bloodbath, or the semifinals, or the finals, _because he doesn't care if she dies at all._ There is no time to make friends, no time to be sorry, to mourn over the death of some girl from his district. There is no time for love either, but Juyeon, sweet and candid and ever so loving Juyeon, doesn’t care. Juyeon doesn’t care about the terrible timing, the rules, or the consequences; Juyeon only cares about him, and that is scary to extents Kevin can’t even begin to explain. 

Kevin doesn’t know if he’s willing to do anything and everything to go back home alive if that costs him Juyeon. 

To many extents, Kevin is afraid of love. Of what love might to do him in the remote case of him falling for Juyeon too. Of what he might do for love. Of what he might do for Juyeon, of what he might do to save him. Juyeon is the closest Kevin ever got to love, and the possibility of losing Juyeon, the boy he loves, to have him slip through his fingers keeps him up at night. 

_**Love.**_ The boy he loves. _Juyeon._ Lee Juyeon, who has the same age as him, who has an younger brother that was offered as a tribute to punish his family over his father’s political crimes for whom he volunteered as a tribute to spare his life. Juyeon, who loves his family so much he was willing to die for them, who loves Kevin so much he was willing to die for him. Juyeon, who is everything but simple; everything about him is beautiful and tangled up in a mess of secrets and insecurities. Juyeon, who is simply stunning, with his sun kissed skin, velvety voice, and moon-like eyes, who is so simple, yet so complicated. Juyeon, who makes he loves so much, for whom he would die if Juyeon ever asked so.

Lee Juyeon, the only person who completely understands him. The only person he loves. There are only two certainties in his life — that he is to die in the games, and that he loves Lee Juyeon more than anything and everything.

Kevin knows love will be the death of him, that Juyeon will be the death of him, because Lee Juyeon is everything to him. Juyeon is all he loves, is all he has, is all he was ever certain of. Kevin loves him with every pathetic inch of his being, loves him so much. Kevin loves him so much it hurts, and when Kim Sunwoo, the career tribute from District 4, pierces his trident through Juyeon’s chest, Kevin feels like Sunwoo is killing him too. 

It hurts him almost as much as it hurts Juyeon, and Kevin isn’t thinking when he wraps his hands around Sunwoo’s neck and suffocates him to death. Sunwoo dies before his eyes and Kevin watches the life slip out of his body, hands still tight around his neck, and when Kevin realizes what he just did, he starts sobbing in pure horror, stumbling backwards and falling flat on the ground behind him. He just killed someone. _**He just killed someone.**_

Juyeon calling his name is what brings him back to reality. All Kevin can think about right now is Juyeon, lying helpless on the ground, choking on his own blood, and how desperately he needs to save him. “Hyungseo. Come here.”

The fear makes Kevin drop onto his knees, and the desperation makes him crawl towards Juyeon in pure distress. Kevin leans on top of him, catching a glimpse of the deep wound in his chest, and all the blood makes him feel sick; there must be something he can do to save him, there has to be. He removes his jacket and shirt before ripping the shirt apart into strips of fabric, so he can wrap them around his torso, tie them into knots and then apply pressure on the wound and hopefully stop the bleeding. _It should work._ Kevin did some medical training during the training sessions, he did save Juyeon’s life with the same technique before. _**It has to work.**_

When the bleeding continues, his stomach drops. That’s Juyeon’s blood, all over his hands and his clothes, and Kevin has never felt as helpless as he feels now, watching the boy he loves die right before his eyes because he doesn’t know how to save him. He is on the verge of breaking down completely, but he can’t give up now, not now that Juyeon’s life is on his hands. Kevin feels tears streaming down his cheeks, dripping down his chin and mixing with Juyeon’s blood as he continues trying. He is crying a lot more than before, sobbing uncontrollably as he tries to keep Juyeon alive. He can’t afford to lose Juyeon, not now that they’re so close to winning, not now that they’ve made it this far, _he needs to save him._ Kevin can’t go on without him. _**It makes no sense to continue without Juyeon.**_

“Hyungseo, look at me.” Juyeon demands, out of breath, so he does. “Promise me you’ll win.”

“No, Juyeon, no. Don’t leave now. Please. Just hold on a few more minutes. I think we’re the last ones, we can talk to the Capitol, we can make a deal with them, _there must be something they can do to save you—_ ”

“It’s okay.” Juyeon reassures him, hand on his cheek. Kevin is crying more than ever now, and Juyeon gently wipes his tears away. “You did everything you could to save me. But you need to let me go now.”

“I can’t do that.”

Juyeon smiles fondly at him and Kevin can hear his heart breaking into a thousand pieces. “You can, Hyungseo. You can do everything. I believe in you.”

“No, I can’t, I can’t do this without you. Juyeon, please, don’t leave me.” 

Juyeon closes his eyes and lets out a tired sigh, hand moving down from Kevin’s wrist to hold his hand. The hovercraft is hovering right above them now. Kevin draws circles on his skin with his thumb, and for that short moment, it feels like everything is going to be okay. That they’re both going to make it out alive, together, and that they will both go back to their homes and families. 

The realization that that isn’t going to happen hits him hard. _“I love you, Moon Hyungseo. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget me.”_

 _“I won’t.”_ Kevin promises, brushing Juyeon’s hair away from his face before leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek one last time. 

_“See you on the other side.”_

Juyeon tugs at his jacket, pulling him down and stabbing him in the back, right on the base of his spine. It doesn’t hurt as much as it should, and it shouldn’t take long for him to die too. Kevin is thankful for that; he knows he wouldn’t be able to live knowing Juyeon died in his arms. _**This is it.**_ This is how it all ends, with the two of them dying in each other’s arms. 

Juyeon dies first, and Kevin dies shortly after, still refusing to let go of Juyeon’s body even after he’s dead. This is their final appeal to the Capitol, their last plea for mercy, that goes by unheard and silent. 24 boys and girls will return to their parents and loved ones in coffins, with no winner. 

Juyeon and Kevin find their peace on each other. Their love will go down in history as the star-crossed lovers that found love in a hopeless place, and died together so they wouldn’t go on without each other because neither of them would be able to handle it. They loved each other so much it killed both of them. This is not how love is supposed to go. 

_This is not how love is supposed to go, except that it did._


End file.
